I run when it comes easy, I run when it is tough, I run when I feel tired, I run after I have had enough.
I run through the bad running days to get to the good ones.
Running is kind of like fishing in my experience. People fish through hundreds of bad days, for the one great day. I run through the tough days, so that I am stronger and able to enjoy future runs. I have had a few great days when I feel light and motion is effortless. You never know when the good day is going to come, so you have to get out as much as possible!
The past two running weeks have been a struggle. I have lost motivation to do my 50k, questioned why I signed up for a marathon, but I wake up at 5:30 each day and stick to my plan.
Why? Because I said I was going to, and I want to prove I can. I told 100 people I was going to do a 50k, but most importantly I told myself. There is no option to turn back now. I am well past the Rubicon, the point of no return. There is no sense looking back, just at one foot as it lands in front of the other, often sloshing with sweat and tears.
My first miles today felt like my shoes were cinder blocks. The rain did not help my mental state. I pushed onward into the darkness.
Mile 3 to 3.5 I was biting my lip. It felt like I was barely moving and going to collapse.
Mile 3.5 to 6.5 I completely zoned out.
At 6.5 everything started to click. Endorphins started kicking in and I picked up the pace.
Running is a struggle, but I find moments of peacefulness in motion, where I feel completely immersed in my surroundings. It is as if I am right where I am supposed to be, and nothing else matters. I run for these moments. Sometimes they are a second long, other times the seconds turn into minutes.
Sometimes that moment doesn’t come, but the feeling of completing a run when your body wanted to quit yet your mind won the battle is a victory to be appreciated.